Thursday, June 17, 2010

Dear Mr. Census Worker....

Dear Mr. Census Worker,
I promise I filled out my application. I love America so much that I filled it out the first time you sent it to me, the second time you sent it to me, and talked to the woman you sent to my door. That's THREE times! I think my husband is starting to get suspicious because I spend more time talking to you than I do any of my other friends. BTW, whats your sign?
“When governments fear the people there is liberty. When the people fear the government there is tyranny."-Thomas Jefferson
You have to understand Mr. Census Worker, that it could never work with us. You are a temporary employee that receives bonuses based on your ability to get a response and highly encouraged to get me to answer as many questions as possible. I'm sorry, but I cant associate with low life scum, how would it look?
Tell me, Mr. Census Worker, how can I get you to stop calling me twice a day 4 days a week and sometimes on Sundays late a night? Do you really need to know how many times a day I pee, that bad? What if I told you "I'm afraid my trees are eating the elephants, now" or “We'll get along fine as soon as you realize I'm God” or “meow”? Would that confuse your little mind? Would you roll up in the fetal position under you desk and cry and shake?
Mr. Census Worker, can I ask you a question? Is your name really Thomas or is it actually Amjid? Did you know, that here in America, we have these things called Amendments and you are robbing me of my 4th amendment rights? Just to fill you in, in case you are actually a Thomas and you forgot or were too stupid to pass Government class, the 4th Amendment states ..."The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no warrants shall issue but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized." When you ask my wages, my mortgage information, and what time and where I work, I see this as "seizing personal information." I will not comply. Thank you and please “DON'T COME AGAIN!”
~Angry US Citizen


  1. hahaha, I loved it, and it is true constantly at my house before the do not call list came out, (I live in Canada and if a census worker calls me they can get charged because I am on this list.) we would get a ton of these phone calls, got to the point where we would just hang up.
    you rant on, because it is very true, people these days are so full of themselves and their work priorities they tend to forget other citizens have rights and privileges. Great write!

  2. I wish we had the "do not call list" here for them. Its getting so bad. I did my duty as an American citizen by filling out the form in the first place and filling out the second one by thinking the first one was lost in the mail. Then, when they showed up at my door, my husband dealt with them. I dont know what these people want from me?

  3. Are you sure they are Census Workers? They sound very suspicious. I haven't had anyone bother me.

  4. Im not too sure, but my husband asked them the last time they called to speak to a supervisor and they put on on the phone. But, thats another reason we havent answered their questions. They could be anyone.

  5. That's so creepy. You know what gets me? The calls come from overseas and yet they insist their names are, "Brian, Stephanie, etc." Listen, we are not dumb. What's wrong with saying your name? I have an accent, but that doesn't make me stupid. We are onto them! I still think these people are not census workers. By the way, we are due a Trader Joe's post on our blogs.

  6. Definitely! I am going to go there this weekend and buy more wine. I will have to post about what I get and any good deals, that are already better than what they have! =)

  7. We received two forms, fill out both with only the Constitutionally required information, then were visited twice. I basically stared down the guy. He was a teenager who failed to properly identify himself, did not have proper ID, and thankfully never came back or never called. But there is still time.

    Perhaps you have a stalker, ha.

    Right Truth

  8. Oh! OH! You are a gal after my own heart. When the census worker called me, and I asked her why she needed to know the color of my skin to be able to count me, she wasn't really sure how to answer it or her answer was at least lame enough to dismiss as a no answer.
    You are awesome!!
    Thanks for the follow. I am right there behind you!

  9. This is March of 2011 and I am still being harassed by census workers. I completed the first form on time. Then a worker started coming by my house. I was informed we had been 'selected' for an additional survey. I answered the questions - things like was anyone counted that was in college or living in a nursing home. We continued to have a worker come by our house several times a week. In November my husband finally called and they said it was too late, the information had already been submitted.

    But, we are not done. Two weeks ago a census worker has started coming by again. He has have left three slips of paper asking us to call. On Saturday, he called and left a voicemail asking us to return the call. My husband has sent a letter to the regional office telling them to stop harassing us and to stay off of our property.

  10. I just handed a census worker a note requesting his U.S. government I.D., personal drivers license, Social security card, bank account number,2 major credit cards, birth certificate, baptismal record,passport,green card,and his home and cell phone number! I told hime that I was using the information to run a backround check on him, and that I would give him a call in a couple of weeks to return his document and give him and give my answer, as to whether I complete the survey! I also assued hin that "All INFORMATION PROVIDED WILL BE KEPT COMFIDENTIAL" I hope I got my point across!