Dear Mr. Census Worker,
I promise I filled out my application. I love America so much that I filled it out the first time you sent it to me, the second time you sent it to me, and talked to the woman you sent to my door. That's THREE times! I think my husband is starting to get suspicious because I spend more time talking to you than I do any of my other friends. BTW, whats your sign?
“When governments fear the people there is liberty. When the people fear the government there is tyranny."-Thomas Jefferson
You have to understand Mr. Census Worker, that it could never work with us. You are a temporary employee that receives bonuses based on your ability to get a response and highly encouraged to get me to answer as many questions as possible. I'm sorry, but I cant associate with low life scum, how would it look?
Tell me, Mr. Census Worker, how can I get you to stop calling me twice a day 4 days a week and sometimes on Sundays late a night? Do you really need to know how many times a day I pee, that bad? What if I told you "I'm afraid my trees are eating the elephants, now" or “We'll get along fine as soon as you realize I'm God” or “meow”? Would that confuse your little mind? Would you roll up in the fetal position under you desk and cry and shake?
Mr. Census Worker, can I ask you a question? Is your name really Thomas or is it actually Amjid? Did you know, that here in America, we have these things called Amendments and you are robbing me of my 4th amendment rights? Just to fill you in, in case you are actually a Thomas and you forgot or were too stupid to pass Government class, the 4th Amendment states ..."The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no warrants shall issue but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized." When you ask my wages, my mortgage information, and what time and where I work, I see this as "seizing personal information." I will not comply. Thank you and please “DON'T COME AGAIN!”
~Angry US Citizen